If you believe you were raised by narcissistic mother, the following questionnaire will help you gain insight into the issue.
To find out the probability of your mother being a narcissist, answer “yes” or “no” to the questions below. Once you have completed the questionnaire, count your “yes” answers and read the score interpretation comments at the bottom of the page.
1- Do you struggle to feel like an adult and a competent woman in your mother’s company?
2- Do you feel under pressure to live up to your mother’s expectations and standards in order to be accepted and/or valued by her?
3- When in your mother’s company, do you often feel responsible for how she feels?
4- Does your mother treat you differently (e.g., politely, affectionately) in front of other people?
5- Is your mother jealous of you?
6- Does your mother have a habit of questioning and/or discarding and/or invalidating and/or ignoring your skills and achievements?
7- Do you feel you cannot count on your mother for emotional support?
8- Do you struggle to make your mother understand your feelings?
9- Is your mother hard – if not impossible – to please?
10- Does your mother ever show genuine regret and apologize for treating you inappropriately?
11- Do you believe that your mother does not know the real you?
12- Do you feel false and/or insecure and/or inadequate in your mother’s company?
13- Do your mother’s moods tend to fluctuate with great intensity and frequency?
14- When taken over by antagonistic feelings such as anger, shame and insecurity, does your mother abuse you verbally?
15- Does your mother use emotional blackmail to get what she wants from you on most occasions?
16- Does your mother make you feel responsible for her happiness?
17- Do your mother’s attitude and values seem not to evolve with time?
18- Do you often feel forced to meet only the needs and wants of your mother?
19- Do you find it hard to associate the image of your mother with that of an emotionally stable and secure adult?
20- Do you struggle to see yourself as an independent entity from your mother?
21- Does your mother reject or ignore your interests when they do not reflect her own?
22- Do you find it difficult to connect affectionately and emotionally with your mother?
23- Does your mother only accept your skills and achievements when recognized by somebody else?
24- Does your mother use your skills and/or natural talents and/or important moments of your life for self-aggrandisement?
25- When involved in family disagreements, does your mother always come out as the victim of some great injustice?
26- Does your mother not value you for whom you are, but for what you have to offer?
27- Are you embarrassed by your mother’s attitude and behaviour in front of other people?
28- Is your mother disappointed and/or makes you feel guilty for not doing what she wants?
29- Does your mother consciously ignore your feelings?
30- Does your mother expose and/or humiliate you in front of other people?
1 – 5: It is unlikely that you were raised by a narcissistic mother.
6 – 9: It is somewhat likely that you were raised by a narcissistic mother.