Excessive worrying can make life seem dull and draining. How can we bring ourselves to notice the little things that make life interesting, such as a beautiful sunset on a multi-coloured sky, the value of our efforts or an act of kindness by a total stranger, if our minds are stuck in worrying mode? You know when your worries have started taking over your life when you feel distanced and disconnected from your work, friends and/or loved ones, or when most things you do for pleasure and fun seem to have lost their purpose. To help you regain control over your own thoughts, here are 3 simple exercises for dealing with excessive worrying that will allow you to approach your worries productively:
1- Keep a worry diary
Diaries are great tools to get your thoughts and worries out of your head. Here you will find a worry diary that will allow you to keep a record of what is bothering you at that particular moment. What is more, it has one section for your triggers and another to register your tested strategies for dealing with excessive worrying. Print out your worry diary and carry it around with you at all times. Whenever a worry starts taking over your thoughts, write it down exactly as you have it, as you can see in the example. After a week filling in your worry diary, read it again and take some time to analyse it. What do your worries say about you? What triggers them? What control strategies were the most efficient?
2- Keep a worry box
Have a plastic container somewhere safe and discreet to store your worries. On a given Monday, start carrying a little notebook or sheet of paper around with you. Whenever a worry hits you, write it down on a piece of paper, fold it and put it in the plastic container. If you prefer to leave your worry box at home, keep your paper in your handbag or pocket for going in the box later. Do that for the entire week, from Monday to Sunday. On Sunday evening, take some time to have a look through the worries you have had that week and notice how you feel in relation to them. Reflect over their content and determine if they still bother you or if they have lost their relevance by then. How do they make you feel? Are you still as stressed as you were when you wrote them down? After having read them, rubbish or burn them somewhere safe.
3- Set aside some worry time
If you are not very keen on the idea of writing your worries down every time you have them, you can make a mental note and save them for “worry time”. Whenever a worry starts taking over your thoughts tell yourself, “I will worry about this at worry time”, and get on with whatever you are doing at that moment. If you do not trust your memory, write your worry down on a piece of paper or use your smartphone to register it. Worry time is that designated time of the day that you can give yourself just to worry. Schedule your preferred worry time, ideally in the evening and after work. Save all the worries you have during the day for worry time. Then, at the appointment time, sit down and think about your worries for no longer than 15 minutes. Notice how you feel in relation to them. What has changed? How are you going to feel about those worries in a month’s time?
After having completed any of the above exercises for at least one week, ask yourself the following:
What is the main role of my worries (what do I get from them?)?
Are my worries productive (do they lead me to a solution?)
What negative beliefs about myself, the world and others are fuelling my worries (what do my worries say about me?)?
Do I tend to exaggerate the importance of my worries?How well can I cope with uncertainty?