Were you raised by a narcissistic mother?
If you believe you were raised by narcissistic mother, the following questionnaire will help you gain insight into the issue.
To find out the probability of your mother being a narcissist, answer “yes” or “no” to the questions below. Once you have completed the questionnaire, count your “yes” answers and read the score interpretation comments at the bottom of the page.
1- Do you struggle to feel like an adult and a competent woman in your mother’s company?
2- Do you feel under pressure to live up to your mother’s expectations and standards in order to be accepted and/or valued by her?
3- When in your mother’s company, do you often feel responsible for how she feels?
4- Does your mother treat you differently (e.g., politely, affectionately) in front of other people?
5- Is your mother jealous of you?
6- Does your mother have a habit of questioning and/or discarding and/or invalidating and/or ignoring your skills and achievements?
7- Do you feel you cannot count on your mother for emotional support?
8- Do you struggle to make your mother understand your feelings?
9- Is your mother hard – if not impossible – to please?
10- Does your mother ever show genuine regret and apologize for treating you inappropriately?
11- Do you believe that your mother does not know the real you?
12- Do you feel false and/or insecure and/or inadequate in your mother’s company?
13- Do your mother’s moods tend to fluctuate with great intensity and frequency?
14- When taken over by antagonistic feelings such as anger, shame and insecurity, does your mother abuse you verbally?
15- Does your mother use emotional blackmail to get what she wants from you on most occasions?
16- Does your mother make you feel responsible for her happiness?
17- Do your mother’s attitude and values seem not to evolve with time?
18- Do you often feel forced to meet only the needs and wants of your mother?
19- Do you find it hard to associate the image of your mother with that of an emotionally stable and secure adult?
20- Do you struggle to see yourself as an independent entity from your mother?
21- Does your mother reject or ignore your interests when they do not reflect her own?
22- Do you find it difficult to connect affectionately and emotionally with your mother?
23- Does your mother only accept your skills and achievements when recognized by somebody else?
24- Does your mother use your skills and/or natural talents and/or important moments of your life for self-aggrandisement?
25- When involved in family disagreements, does your mother always come out as the victim of some great injustice?
26- Does your mother not value you for whom you are, but for what you have to offer?
27- Are you embarrassed by your mother’s attitude and behaviour in front of other people?
28- Is your mother disappointed and/or makes you feel guilty for not doing what she wants?
29- Does your mother consciously ignore your feelings?
30- Does your mother expose and/or humiliate you in front of other people?
1 – 5: It is unlikely that you were raised by a narcissistic mother.
6 – 9: It is somewhat likely that you were raised by a narcissistic mother.